(Disclaimer: Thank you to all the people who have read this and reached out, this is not a body-love or health related post. Just one of mourning. It was all I could think of this week and being committed to authenticity, felt compelled to write about the passing of my beloved Cleo. There’s some nuggets of Doggie Wisdom in here, if you do decide to read it. No tummy flattening tips and tricks though. Sorry about that!!)
Where do I even begin.. She’s gone.. That too so suddenly..
Just like her to rock it out till the end and then refuse to struggle or suffer. She is one of the bravest souls I have had the pleasure of knowing. And probably one of the very few I will spend so much time sharing life with.
We’ve been on a learning journey since 2005, when I entered a particularly hard phase of my life and she watched over every dumb move, wrong turn and silly decision I made (and learnt from) with peaceful and loving eyes. But she was not a softie, no freaking way.. She came to us with the soul-purpose of toughening me the hell up. I can imagine her licking my face and rolling her eyes at me if she were to read this. Yeah, she did roll her eyes. A LOT!!
Right from the beginning, Cleo was not a big fan of cuddling. Running, playing, tussling and wrestling? Hell yeah. Bring it on! But she had an upper limit for cuddling. And that was her first lesson to me. Respect space. And alone time. As a young pup she would find ways of wriggling out of my tight hugs to be on her own.
She loved nature and car rides. We could walk her for an hour, she would be panting hard and eyes bright she was ready for more.
Constantly challenging the limits of what I thought she could handle.
Ever curious. Ever courageous. Smart beyond words. And the toughest cookie.
More than half of her life was lived in the big city, without too much space to run around, so she would improvise and the mischievous side of her stayed till the end. I could tell by the look in her eyes what zone she was in and we were best friends. She knew all my secrets, either told to her in direct conversation or stuff she overheard. Even if she could talk, I would trust her with all of it because we ALL knew her loyalty was fierce. She would have been the ind of mom that didn’t give in to tantrums in order to raise strong and stable kids. Not always nice or visibly sane, just hella effective.
She claimed what was hers, protected it fiercely and loved with a great intensity even from a distance.
She taught me it’s okay to love from a distance and take care of yourself first. To say no. To reevaluate how and why you trust another. To not go pandering to other people’s expectations. And a giant no to begging for love, begging for food was another matter, entirely. When I learned these lessons, she made her approval known by being far more approving in her looks and gestures.
Complete faith and acceptance was her mantra. She might as well have been a monk for all I know, I often found her in deep meditation at the window (one of my own favourite places to sit for contemplation).
She is beautiful and will live in my heart forever. Life can be tough and she came into mine to ensure I had my basics sorted.
I know you are happy wherever you are.
Dance in Eternal Ecstasy, Baby 🙂
We miss you <3